Teaching on naturalness
This is the other side of trying to be different. The other side of trying not to be different.
Alan Watts
Alan Watts

The Dance of Being: Embracing Naturalness in Duality

Alan Watts invites us into a profound exploration of identity and existence with his quote, "This is the other side of trying to be different. The other side of trying not to be different." At its core, this statement reveals the paradox inherent in our attempts to define ourselves, whether through the desire to stand out or the urge to conform. The stakes are high, as this struggle can lead to a disconnection from our authentic selves and the natural flow of life. Understanding this duality is essential for cultivating a sense of ease and naturalness in our being.

In a world that often pressures us to choose sides—either to embrace uniqueness or to fit in—Watts's words serve as a gentle reminder of the futility in such dichotomies. The tension between these two impulses can create an internal conflict that distracts us from the simplicity of just being. By recognizing the interplay of these forces, we can begin to dissolve the barriers we create around our identities and open ourselves to a more fluid experience of life. This exploration is not merely philosophical; it has practical implications for how we navigate our relationships, our work, and our inner lives.

The image / the metaphor

Watts's quote conjures a vivid image of a tightrope walker, balancing precariously between the desire to be different and the urge to conform. The verbs "trying" and "be" evoke a sense of effort and struggle, suggesting that both paths require a certain level of exertion. This imagery highlights the tension that arises when we become overly fixated on our identities, whether we are striving to stand out or to blend in. The felt sense of this struggle is palpable; it is a dance that can leave us feeling exhausted and disconnected from our true selves.

In the speaker's tradition

Alan Watts's teachings are deeply rooted in Zen philosophy, which emphasizes the importance of naturalness and spontaneity. Concepts such as *sunyata* (emptiness) and *dharma* (the natural order of things) resonate with the essence of his quote. In Zen, the understanding of self is not confined to rigid definitions; rather, it is seen as a dynamic interplay of existence that transcends dualities. This perspective invites us to embrace both our uniqueness and our commonality without clinging to either as a fixed identity.

Watts often referenced the teachings of Zen masters, who spoke of *kenosis*, or self-emptying, as a way to experience the fullness of life. In this context, the act of trying to be different or not different can be seen as a form of attachment that clouds our perception. A relevant text that echoes this sentiment is the *Heart Sutra*, which teaches that form is emptiness and emptiness is form, illustrating the interconnectedness of all things. This understanding encourages us to let go of rigid identities and to embrace the fluidity of our existence.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching resonates: a workplace environment where individuals feel pressured to conform to a specific culture or to stand out in order to be recognized. In such settings, employees may find themselves caught in a cycle of trying to fit in or to differentiate themselves, leading to stress and dissatisfaction. By embracing Watts's insight, one might approach their role with a sense of ease, allowing their authentic self to emerge naturally, rather than forcing a persona that feels inauthentic. This shift can foster a more harmonious workplace, where collaboration and creativity thrive.

In the realm of relationships, the struggle between wanting to be different and wanting to fit in can manifest in various ways. For instance, in a romantic partnership, one partner may feel the need to suppress their individuality to maintain harmony, while the other may feel stifled by the lack of authenticity. By recognizing the duality expressed in Watts's quote, both partners can engage in open communication, allowing their true selves to coexist without fear of judgment. This practice of vulnerability can deepen their connection and create a space where both can flourish as individuals while nurturing their bond.

A reflection

As we contemplate the wisdom of Alan Watts, we are invited to reflect on our own lives: In what ways do we find ourselves caught in the struggle between trying to be different and trying not to be different? This question encourages us to examine our motivations and the identities we cling to, inviting us to explore the possibility of embracing our natural selves without the weight of expectation. By engaging with this inquiry, we can begin to cultivate a deeper sense of ease and authenticity in our daily lives.

Alan Watts
AuthorAlan Watts

British philosopher who interpreted Eastern philosophy for Western audiences. His lectures and books made Zen accessible to millions.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Watts highlights the paradox of identity, where individuals often feel pressured to either stand out or conform. Both approaches can lead to a disconnection from one's authentic self, suggesting that true naturalness lies in embracing the fluidity of existence without rigid definitions.
You can apply this teaching by observing your own tendencies to either conform or seek distinction in various aspects of your life. By practicing self-awareness and allowing your authentic self to emerge naturally, you can cultivate a sense of ease and authenticity in your interactions and decisions.
Yes, the themes of duality and naturalness are prevalent in Zen literature. Texts like the *Heart Sutra* emphasize the interconnectedness of all things, encouraging practitioners to transcend rigid identities and embrace the fluid nature of existence.
*Sunyata* refers to the concept of emptiness, suggesting that all forms are interdependent and lack inherent identity. *Kenosis*, on the other hand, is the act of self-emptying, allowing one to experience the fullness of life without attachment to fixed identities. Both concepts encourage a release of rigid definitions.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. By cultivating awareness of your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can begin to recognize the dualities in your life and allow your authentic self to emerge naturally.

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